Paradise: rewritten
by dancinganimefan
Summary: This story is a rewrite of a story I published on here under Lady Kagome215. This work may not be the best. Please no flames, but constructive criticism is welcomed. I rated T for suicidal themes.


A/n: This is a rewrite of Paradise that I wrote back when I was transitioning from middle school to high school on my old account Lady_Kagome215. If I could, I would reclaim my account, but I cannot for the life of me get any of my emails to work with the account. I am also rewriting it with edits as I have matured as a writer and taken to heart the one review I had for this previously. I plan on rewriting a lot of my old work. If there is a specific story you see on my old account you think I should give top priority to, please PM me. I wrote this fanfic when I was a huge InuYasha fan (Still am, but I am sooo behind on the episodes. I have been more focused on anime and manga like Ouran High School Host Club and Senran Kagura.) My friend and I discussed how Kagome seemed a bit on the suicidal side and this was created.

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha even if the characters are a bit OC. I also do not own Paradise as it was sung by Vanessa Carlton and the base of this fanfic.

Paradise:

She stood on the edge of the balcony, nightgown swaying in the breeze. Today marked exactly one year. It has been one year since she last saw him. One year since she could not go through the well without seeing the destruction. Since returning that fateful day, Kagome had thrown herself into her studies and gave in to her mother's wishes. The only distraction was when she closed her eyes and saw everything that could have been.

She could have not fought with InuYasha while he was injured.

She could have not murdered Kikyo with InuYasha's sword.

She could have not seen the look in her beloved's eye. The very look of a pure demon. The murderous eyes.

She could have not ran and escaped with the few injuries from the encounter.

She could have not done anything than what would have been considered normal for her.

But she didn't. Kagome, who didn't believe in murder, had murdered Kikyo. Kikyo's demise was Kikyo's fault and had always been that way. Her desire for InuYasha to be dead was reason enough for her final attack when InuYasha was already on his death bed. Kagome and InuYasha had fought earlier that day and Kagome wanted to make the fight up to him. She ended up protecting him instead. It was Kagome who took his Tetsusaiga and used it to murder Kikyo during the battle before Kikyo could murder InuYasha. With Kikyo dead and his demon blood reacting faster than before, InuYasha had turned into a full-fledged demon. Kagome tried to subdue him as she ordered the others to run. InuYasha could not be subdued. Kagome chose to fight instead. Luckily for her, InuYasha passed out from his injuries. She quickly dug out her first aid kit and left it at his side. She yelled for Miroku and Sango to return. When she heard them getting close, she ran.

Kagome shifted to sitting on the edge and looked at the ground below. It seemed so lovely. She could no longer face the man she loved. It would not be an issue as Kagome doubted InuYasha wanted to see her after everything that had happened. That thought wouldn't leave her. She saw her rock bottom.

_Nothing hurts and nothing bleeds when covers tucked in tight._

Another thought struck her mind, taunting her.

_Paradise. One day in paradise is one last chance to feel alright._

No! She tried to argue. Finally, she swallowed her fear and convinced herself through lies. Dropping five stories would hurt, but the pain would be short and temporary. It was dark now and everyone was in bed. It would be morning before they would find her. By then, it would be too late for salvation. With the sunset a few hours ago, her reasons to survive had disappeared. InuYasha would never want to be with her and most likely hated her. She couldn't continue pretending. It was time to push it all out. The note was sealed and under her pillow.

With a deep breath, Kagome pushed herself off. She watched as though in slow motion the faces watching her. The faces of those who cared, but wasn't enough. They screamed for her, but she couldn't hear them. Just when she thought it would be over, she was in someone's arms. That's when her world turned black.

Suddenly, Kagome was in a room and watching everything she knew. Her childhood, her first kiss, and such played before her. When the movie was over with the final scene of the faces watching her, Kagome noticed that it was starting again. This play through was everything she did not know. She watched as InuYasha was present for her birth. He was working as a greeter for new mothers and smiled greatly upon her infant form. He bent down and kissed her forehead. While Kagome's mother watched the door, waiting for her family to come in, InuYasha whispered something into Kagome's ear. "Don't run away any time too soon. I've been waiting for you, my love." InuYasha bowed to her mother and left the room.

InuYasha had been there while she was growing up. Her guardian angel…who just happened to be a half demon. He sat in the tree and watched when she was home. He attended school with her starting in middle school. He even watched as his past self and her argued and fought when in the present. Kagome's mother had figured it all out.

"Move on. I don't care what she will do. You need to leave her alone. How are you to explain your presence to her?" she asked him the day Kagome returned home for the final time. "She needs space."

"It is hard for me to explain. I love her," InuYasha answered.

"I know, but she needs time away from all of that."

"I waited 500 years for her. If I have to, I will wait 500 more years for her." InuYasha disappeared.

Kagome started to scream. She did not want to know more. The room turned black once more.

She sat up, in her bed. It was dark save for the moon light trickling in. A figure moved near her desk. As her eyes adjusted, Kagome could make out the dog ears on the figure.

"InuYasha?" she asked, afraid to know the answer.

"I am here." The reply was short lived as arms wrapped around her. "I have been here." Kagome pulled away.

"What happened the day I left?" The question hung in the air. InuYasha sighed.

"I woke up in terrible pains. Sango had been attending to me with your first aid kit. She said that she could not find you anywhere," InuYasha started.

"She couldn't find me because I ran away," Kagome interrupted. "I couldn't stay."

"Why the hell not, Kagome? Haven't we gone through much more than that?" InuYasha asked, getting a little upset. "You killed Kikyo. You know as well as I do that she was simply a clay pot."

"You loved her, InuYasha. You would leave me, who provided everything I could, for her. What makes you believe that I should have felt no fear that day?" Kagome responded. Tears stung her eyes threatening to leak through.

"Loved. Past tense." Kagome took a deep breath, making sure the tears don't spill. "I made a realization while I was lying in a hut, recovering. I need the real thing. I need you, Kagome." Kagome scoffed.

"How can you say that after everything I did?" InuYasha just smirked. "I killed her. It is my fault that she is dead." A tear broke the dam. InuYasha took his thumb and rubbed it away.

"It was when I realized you weren't coming back that I got angry. You had warned me about Kikyo countless times. I admit that what I have done to you in the past was wrong. I wanted to admit it when I was recovering." InuYasha's face fell a little. "I did try to go through the well, but I couldn't get through."

"I sealed it from my side. What happened to the jewel?" Kagome was almost afraid to ask.

"Sango and Kaede took care of protecting it. It was very pure when you left. Then, Kaede got sick and died. Sango was starting to suffer and become ill." Kagome gasped and started to let out the tears.

"That's my fault! I must have brought back something that would have caused her illness." InuYasha shook his head.

"She got ill about two years after you left. I know it is strange to it like that considering now you have only left for a year." Kagome rubbed her eyes, trying to stop the crying. "I used the jewel."

"What do you mean you used the jewel?" Kagome asked. "Please tell me it was for a good reason. That jewel is dangerous."

"I used it to wish that Sango, Miroku, and you would have the life span of a half-demon. Sango ended up getting better. She and Miroku have a place outside of town. Hell, they even had kids," InuYasha looked back at Kagome.

"I'm glad that she is alright," Kagome said. "At least she got the family she deserved."

"Time changes people. As I waited for you to be born, I could not help wondering if I should stop myself from taking you back or if I should be in your life the whole way through. In the end, I couldn't make any decision. I let your life play out," InuYasha said, his face softening. Kagome nodded and pushed him away. She left the room, racing down the stairs as fast as she could go.

"He thought that it was fine for me to suffer a year? He agreed with my mother to leave me go?" she yelled out once she was outside. As she started down the shrine stairs to the streets below, InuYasha's hand grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Kagome slapped him. "Don't you get it. I'm supposed to be lying on the sidewalk, lifeless. Everyone can be happy again and enjoy their lives. I'm not important anymore." She yanked her arm away from his grip.

"Who the hell told you that you weren't important?" he asked, looking very sad. Kagome didn't answer. "Who told you that you had to kill yourself to make others happy?" Kagome looked at the ground.

"Look, InuYasha. Thank you for coming out here to save my life once more, but you can just go back to whatever family I'm sure you made with someone else." Her face snapped towards InuYasha. He flinched before chuckling. "What's so funny?"

"Would I have spent the years waiting and watching you to have had another family?" Kagome sighed. "The one I love is standing on top of the shrine stairs in a nightgown wanting to kill herself." Love? Did InuYasha just say that he loves her?

"I don't know." Kagome rubbed her arms. The breeze chilled her a bit. Her hands touched her scars from her battle with InuYasha and the scars she had added later. The scars that reminded her to keep going before she started to ignore their message. InuYasha picked her up while she stayed silent. "I love you." Her words made him smile. He carried her into her room.

"I love you. Once you get better, paradise won't be far away," InuYasha whispered in her ear as he tucked her in. She closed her eyes with a small smile on her face. She was ill and had been for a year. Once her eyes were closed and silence filled the room once more, she saw what could have been without InuYasha there. She saw what she had planned. She shuddered and curled against InuYasha's body. She only had to wait a bit longer for paradise. Her paradise to spend the rest of her life with InuYasha. Finally, for the first time in a year, Kagome felt alright.

A/N: The rewrite became much longer than the original. I added more dialog and more facial expression to it like the original was constructively criticized to have been missing. If there is something more I should have done or need to do some editing, please let me know. I will make note and might try to edit it a bit more. I don't have an editor. It is all my own work.


End file.
